Through hail and snow

To: Retort
File under: Views from the basement

This from the feisty Mike Colby of the Food and Water journal:

A Mailroom Manifesto
By Michael Colby

The unknown purveyors of bioterrorism have now sent their potent blends of
Anthrax to numerous U.S. locations, targeting, for the most part, elite
figures of the government and media. But what they haven't apparently
realized is that in our heavily classist system, these elites never come
close to their own mail. In fact, the task of mail opening is way down the
totem pole of privilege, usually relegated to some dank basement in the
swanky towers of power.

Tom Brokaw didn't come close to his mail. Tom Daschle didn't come close to
his mail. And even though the Anthrax-laden letters were addressed to both
of these men, it was dozens of their underlings who actually became
contaminated. And now there isn't an executive in this nation who will dare
wander down to the mailroom anytime soon.

But in every groovy office place in the nation the big bosses are issuing
crocodile tears to their mail-opening staff, trying to make it seem like
they "care" but not sticking around long enough to risk being contaminated
themselves ­ either by the Anthrax or the mail-opening ruffians.

I happen to know several people who-unfortunately--have as part of their job
description the task of opening corporate mail. And they1ve all reported to
me about how their bosses have made overtures toward their safety in the
last few days. There have been offers of masks, gloves, and condescending
lectures about how to "be careful with any suspicious mail" (no shit), all
delivered in a way that assumes the folks in the mail dungeons aren1t even
aware of what the hell's been happening in the nation for the past month or
so. You know, kind of like "Mr. Rogers comes to deliver a safety warning."

But offers of 25 cent plastic gloves, two dollar masks, and worthless
lectures aren't what the people in the mailrooms of this nation need right
now, especially since those who felt they needed such items purchased them
long before their bosses came waddling into their cramped spaces. And not
one of the mailroom folks who I know have been offered what they're truly
looking for in these difficult times: a frigging raise. Nor, for that
matter, have any of them been offered the same benefits package as those who
are up on the "top floors." No, the bosses will keep their offers confined
to cheap gloves and masks because it always comes back to the "bottom line."

In this instance, the offer of such contrivances like gloves and masks in
the face of something like Anthrax amounts to little more than guilt
reduction on the part of the bosses. In this new spirit of faux-patriotism,
they feel like they have to "do something," even though any reasonable
person should know that the Anthrax would make its mark with or without such
protection. It reminds me of the "duck and cover" days of the 1950s when our
government taught our citizenry how to climb under their desks and cover
their heads in case of a nuclear attack. In other words, good luck.

In the new bioterrorism war we1ve found ourselves in, the mailroom workers
are on the frontlines. They've unwittingly become our Marines, and they
certainly didn't sign up for this tour of duty. Worse, they1re not paid
nearly enough to take on such risks.

Which all leads me to suggest that if the Bushes, Brokaws and Daschles of
the world want to keep pushing us deeper and deeper into this nefarious war,
why don't they put themselves on the frontlines for a while. If Bush wants
bin Laden dead so badly, give him a gun, knife and bayonet and let him go do
the dirty work. It1s one thing to sit up high in their chairs and talk about
the "moral imperatives" of killing people, but it's quite another thing to
put your butt within the range of danger. And they can start by opening
their own mail.